When I Ran Out of Ideas

I've written about some pretty amazing ideas on this blog over the years.  I just haven't felt inspired to write anymore in the recent past.  Maybe part of the reason why is that I had to take down some of my most inspired fiction and metaphysical writing.  Not all of it had the answers to the real questions of how it goes together.  I don't have those answers.  I wish I did.

There was a time I was so certain of myself that I believed I had the God's truth for everyone.  I suppose some might consider such a position one of arrogance.  But I could argue anyone in circles over those questions. 

My main spiritual teacher and I have had a closer relationship since the time I wrote a great deal partially inspired by what he taught and definitely inspired in my confidence by my own interpretations of what he taught.  Since then I've found that most of those interpretations were wrong.  This moved me to question myself more fully.

One important point around which the future argument lies and the present conflict exists is the question of equality.  My spiritual teacher believes that any form of hierarchy is unjustified when looking at the universe.  Why, he reasons, would an all knowing spiritual power create hierarchy in spiritual position?  There is a strong argument to this.  Many of my metaphysical theories had hierarchy as the primary point in them.

If there is no hierarchy then why are people capable of achieving different feats?  Is it something only of this dimension?  There is an argument to the nature vs. nurture side of this equation that is more human than assuming in those who are born better than the rest being special above and beyond this world.  Even if they can achieve great tasks in this world, it is done so at the loss of something equally as great.  Specialization requires no hierarchy to justify. 

That's when I ran out of ideas.  To perpetuate hierarchy further no long satisfied the reason for our being.  In addition I found myself in a very lonely place right now far from friends and family (those few who are still alive).  There is nothing more sour to thinking than being alone having to survive. 

Still there is some hope that the consideration of astrology may offer some solace to the world from myself.  I still study it and have found some reassurance from it at times.  I am having the last of some hard transits from Pluto and Saturn these next couple of months though Pluto has peaked and is now waning.  For those who believe in astrology, these two planets do exactly what you expect them to when you get these transits. 

Life goes on.  I've lost alot over the recent years.  I still have myself, my health, and most of my sanity.  That's good I think.  I ran out of ideas though.  I can only follow what my main spiritual teacher teaches now.  One day soon you'll be hearing about it by the hope of it.  It is our only hope for knowing ourselves as complete human beings.