The Legend of the S.S.S. Prankster

 The Legend of the S.S.S. Prankster
A story from the Mendelbrot Universe

by Chris Freely

Among the greatest strange stories of Mendelbrot history is the legend of the S.S.S. Prankster often told by traveling muses and actors who frequent the countless inhabited worlds of the Mendelbrot systems and the extended Arkalkian Front worlds.  The original history of this particular band of cosmic tricksters was believed to have been during the early 4th Generation of Power during which the Captain, often called under the pejorative fictitious name of "Captain Asshat", is said to have lead his band of idiot crew members on a whirlwind series of adventures that ended in the 87th largest war in the history of the 4th Generation of Power often called the War of the Prankster.

It was believed that the crew and captain were quite the bunch.  Lead by the captain and his legendary lack of diplomatic skills the crew of the S.S.S. Prankster successfully insulted just about every great leader in the known chaos region who had been mostly disposed to peace before the idiot captain, who was the brother of the sitting Empress of the Mendelbrot Biarchy at the time, came along and successfully convinced them through only his pure idiocy that the Mendelbrots had nothing but contempt for the primitive backwaters of the chaos region.  So incensed did the ruling monarchs of the chaos region, which is the region that surrounds the Arkalkian Front and the loyal border states, that they banded together to attack the front despite their massive disadvantage in firepower and military resources.

The story is often told like this:

There was a story that had to be told.
A story of bravery?  Well not quite to behold.
A legend of might?  Well not quite right.
But mostly of the greatest idiot of the news.

Along came the ship full of motley crew
They had many a face and many a cool view.
And all behind a man not quite great.
It was often said he was early even when he was late.

A man who arrived at exactly the wrong time.
They couldn't keep him centered or working quite fine.
But fast he was with a quip or a gag.
The captain they said was quite a drag.

Captain Asshat:  What's that?  Is someone talking about me?

1st Officer Johnson:  No sir it's just lines of poetry being read out loud.

Captain Asshat:  Quite right, quite right.  As you were 1st Officer!

1st Officer Johnson:  Yes sir!

Captain Asshat enters the bridge of the S.S.S. Prankster.

Corporal Smee:  Attention on deck.  Captain on the bridge!

Captain Asshat: And what bridge is that?

Corporal Smee:  The bridge of the S.S.S. Prankster sir!

Captain Asshat:  And what's S.S.S. stand for?

Crew (in unison): Super Space Ship yo!

Captain Asshat:  Let's not forget how awesome we are!  Turn the goddamn engine on and let's go somewhere!

1st Officer Johnson:  Where to sir?

Captain Asshat:  I like the color blue today.  Lets go towards that large blue star on the screen.

1st Officer Johnson:  Why sir?  What's so great about blue?

Captain Asshat:  How the hell should I know 1st Officer?  Blue seems sparkly or something.  Does everything have to have an explanation with you?

1st Officer Johnson:  No sir, of course not sir.  Helmsmen Hazmat, set the course to Ipromiatica 39 at once.

Helmsman Hazmat:  What speed Captain?

Captain Asshat:  I've changed my mind.

1st Officer Johnson:  What?

Captain Asshat:  I like yellow now.

1st Officer Johnson:  Sir there are 11 yellow stars on the screen which one catches your fancy today?  Perhaps a shade of yellow?

Captain Asshat:  Na, just the closest one will do.

1st Officer Johnson:  Your will is our command captain..Helmsman Hazmat set the course to Lorithidon 602.

Helmsman Hazmat:  What speed Captain?

Captain Asshat:  Green.  I like green too.

Helmsman Hazmat:  Sir, green is not a speed.

Captain  Asshat:  O pick whatever speed fancies you Helmsman.  I think I'll be in my ready room for some shipboard entertainment.  Have you seen Sharknado 5000?  It's the best movie this side of..

1st Officer Johnson:  Sir isn't that film technically banned in all civilized systems?

Captain Asshat:  What?  Banned?  Why?

1st Officer Johnson:  Due to gratuitous stupidity and lack of substantial reasoning in its making among other things sir.

Captain Asshat:  You can't trust those government bureaucrats to know the difference between what good and bad Lieutenant.  I mean surely if we let those people decide for us then we'd be amiss our duty to art.

1st Officer Johnson:  Art has a technical definition sir that includes the complete expression of beauty and refinement through sensory elaboration.  Technically sir the administration of the Mendelbrot systems is not considered a government but an administration charged with the development of proper procedure for the ordered expression of collective self development. 

Captain Asshat:  Bah some moron in charge is always telling me how to live my life.  Screw those bureaucrats I say. 

1st Officer Johnson:  Sir, your sister, The Empress, would..

Captain Asshat:  What in the name of Kha Dawn do you name my sister on this bridge for Johnson?  That holier than thou know it all is going to ruin every experience in my life reminding me she sits on the biggest throne in the known universe?  I don't want to hear you mention her name on this bridge again.

1st Officer Johnson:  Technically sir I didn't name your sister at all.

Captain Asshat:  Johnson, shut your face.

1st Officer Johnson:  Yes sir.

Helsman Hazmat:  Sir I have selected half of standard speed for our trip.

Captain Asshat:  Wonderful job Helmsman.  You'll earn a promotion for this.

Helsman Hazmat:  When sir?

Captain Asshat:  When we get back to Carpathia with the head of galaxy sized space dragon.

Helsman Hazmat:  Oh dear.

1st Officer Johnson:  Sir, you do realize that space dragons are not only a protected species but also indirectly permanently allied to the Arkalkian front.  They also are hyperintelligent with usually psychic or near psychic levels of threat detection?

Captain Asshat:  Surely there are some that are jerk dragons in the chaos region.

1st Officer Johnson:  The chaos region is strictly off limits for Mendelbrot Gabriel Class ships and greater.  Our ship is classed far above that limit.

Captain Asshat:  No worries, I'll just get my sister to wave that requirement so we can go dragon hunting.

1st Officer Johnson:  Sir your statement contravenes several strict military and civilian regulations and includes numerous classes of violations against standard procedure as well as major parts of multiple treaties and the current Mendelbrot constitution itself.

Captain Asshat:  We don't need no stinkin constitution!  Let's fire up the reactor to full blast and head off to blackest corners of the Black Lagoon!  Hazmat, change course!

1st Officer Johnson:  Belay that order Helmsman.  Captain, we need to refuel to the maximum at the least and we should certainly contact Admiral Quaderiel on the Xeriel before we even think of going out that far.  Sir, I also must warn you that there are multiple vessels capable of possibly stopping us from..

Captain Asshat:  This is the S.S.S. Prankster 1st Officer Johnson!  We can't be stopped!  This is the fastest ship in the entire Mendelbrot fleet and I spent my whole damn fortune building it from the ground up knowing that one day some damn bastard in the capitol was going to tell me to stop.  Hell no, do you understand me?  Hell no.  Though, the refueling request sounds good.  I also forbid all crew members from speaking about our top secret mission to anyone off this ship!

Captain Asshat (on shipwide intercom):  Now hear this!  This is the Captain!  (audible moans heard from various parts of the ship)  We are on a top secret mission and I am invoking Primary Silence Directive on this ship effective immediately.  No one is to communicate anything concerning our mission to anyone.

All over the ship whispers could be heard.  "What mission?"  "Here we go again!"  "Oh God what does he up to this time."  "Maybe it's another drill."  "I gotta get off this ship before he kills us all."

Captain Asshat:  Ok let's do a maximum refuel at Regalia Prime.

1st Officer Johnson:  Regalia Prime does not allow this ship anywhere near it nowadays sir unless you are forgetting the incident involving the Lord Commander of the 4th Guards Armada?

Captain Asshat:  He is such a whiner that idiot.

1st Officer Johnson:  And the son of the sitting Divine Monarch of Regalia, a Divine Duke on the Supreme Mandarin Council to the Empress herself?  Surely sir, you could see the problem with destroying his prized luxury yacht with his wife on board.

Captain Asshat:  His wife regenerates!  She's fine now.

1st Officer Johnson:  We are not permitted to land on Regalia or any other of the 10,000 core worlds of the Supreme Mandarin Council.  To refuel we have to go to..

Captain Asshat:  Carpathia!  I hate Carpathia!  Damn you Johnson.  What have you gotten me into?

1st Officer Johnson:  I warned you sir on perhaps 100 separate occasions regarding the improper use of a tractor beam for pranking a class 2 Carpathian type extragalactic yacht with a ship of this power.  It is like trying to perform surgery on a bacteria with a class 3 dark quasar hypernova.

Captain Asshat:  That's what made is such a great prank!

1st Officer Johnson:  The only reason you aren't sitting as an exile is because the Empress herself insisted that you had gotten your karmic monkey out of your system already.

Captain Asshat:  Karmic monkey eh?  I happen to like having a karmic monkey in me.  Makes me a jolly fellow Johnson.  Look at how jolly I am.  Haha!  (Makes monkey noises).

Several crew members roll their eyes during this display of apparent childishness.

Captain Asshat:  Bah!  To Carpathia.  I think I'll go harass my sister.  Hazmat, change course to Carpathia.  But go extra slow.

Helmsman Hazmat:  Carpathia is two months away sir at maximum speed.

Captain Asshat:  Bah.  Alright punch the reactor.  I'm going to a sleep pod.  See you in two months crew!

1st Officer Johnson:  Have a good night Captain.

Captain Asshat:  I will, I will.  Thank you all for your support.

A scene attempts to depict the Imperial Hall on Carpathia which sits in front of the exalted Supreme Mandarin Council Chamber where those who wish to meet the Empress must wait.  The scale of the hall is immense often described as trying to walk through a Cosmic Domain as a flea though the actual scale of the hall is far, far, far more immense.  The scale of the drawn down model is obviously designed for stage plays and as such our stage play continues in the pretend Imperial Hall as Captain Asshat and 1st Officer Johnson as well as several crew members enter the Hall after a days long session of attempting to get inside to begin with.

Captain Asshat:  But I tell you I'm her brother.

Imperial Seer of Supplicants To the Empress:  Your pardon your grace, but protocol and culture must be held properly in this Hall and for all concerned.  The Empress herself may not violate the Divine Cultural Mandate of the Supreme Divine Magistrate presiding over the Mendelbrot Legacy of Divine Order.  You may not see Her Majesty until such a time as is ordained by the Grand Overseer of Time.  This is the will of He That Cannot be Named and She Who Must be Obeyed.

Captain Asshat:  I would argue with you, but last time I was thrown out for a month.  So, since you all hold all the cards here I will wait patiently in the dining room.

Imperial Seer:  No, you may not wait in the dining room either.  You must remain in the Divine Wing of Patience until such time as you are called forth from it.

Captain Asshat:  And how long is this going to take this time?

Imperial Seer:  About 2 or 3 days I believe.  Though it is technically up to the discretion of the Grand Overseer of Time.

Captain Asshat:  I demand to see a High Priest or Priestess of the Kha.

Imperial Seer:  As you wish.

Several minutes pass and a very decorated looking female Mendelbrot High Priestess of the Kha arrives.

High Priestess Aya:  (with disdain) Oh it's you.

Captain Asshat:  Yes.  When can I see my sister?

High Priestess Aya:  2 days, 3 hours, 14 minutes.

Captain Asshat:  Surely you can..

High Priestess Aya: No, I cannot.

Captain Asshat:  I see.

High Priestess Aya:  No, you do not.  But you will wait.

Captain Asshat:  Johnson, do something.

1st Officer Johnson:  Captain..I think this is a good time to leave.

Captain Asshat:  My delicate priestess surely you can see our great need here.

High Priestess Aya:  Do you wish to taste fate today Captain?

Captain Asshat:  I'm not especially disinclined to tasting anything in particular.  Although..

Captain Asshat suddenly faints and drops to the floor asleep.

High Priestess Aya:  My apologies for your inconvenience 1st Officer Johnson, but the will of the Kha is not to be trifled with.   We do not control the power, it does as it will.  None the less, your Captain will be fine.

And with that the High Priestess floats off gracefully to another assignment followed by the Imperial Seer of Supplicants.

1st Officer Johnson:  Alright haul him back to our room I guess.

And with that the crew members present begrudgingly drag the unwitting idiot of a Captain back to his quarters looked on by many odd, suspicious, and occasional bemused supplicants waiting for their chance to see a Seer for an audience with either a Supreme Mandarin or the Empress.

Captain Asshat experiences the will of the Kha while sleeping.  The thirteen Immortals and Kha Dawn, the conscience of the Mendelbrots, appear hovering before the Captain.  He is surrounded by the terrible presence of the most serious of serious beings.

"Malkorius Asshat!" say the thirteen Immortals in unison.  "Why do you trouble the cosmos with your shallowness?"  "What is the riddle of your shallowness?"

Kha Nino speaks first, the eternal child of the Immortals and the 2nd most powerful of these.  "Drift you will through this universe breaking the rules, making whole all that needs to be made whole."

Kha Archonis speaks second, the eternal judge, "Idiot though thou art, much karma are you here to right.  Go forth and sow chaos that others may learn order."

Kha Lazarus, the undying speaks third, "They will chase you through the stars Malkorius always looking for someone to blame.  But perhaps guidance will come at last when least looked for to turn the tide."

Kha Shadownis, the unseeable, speaks forth, "What you want most you cannot have Malkorius.  Never can you have it.  But you will have something worth more."

Kha Matraxis, the all connecting, speaks fifth, "Master you are of the game Captain, though completely unaware of it.  The spirit of the Mendelbrot is with you though that of the Kha is not."

Kha Dirvatis, the cosmic tree keeper, speaks sixth, "The tree is safe with this one.  Be warned not provoke the flames of the shadow keepers of the Black Lagoon."

Kha Thoth, the cosmic record keeper, speaks seventh, "Malkorius, it is written, shall be a name with honor amongst the pioneers for to break the order perfectly is not a task assigned to the lesser souls of this vastness we call the Mendelbrot Cosmic Tree."

Kha Kheper, the cosmic guardian beetle, speaks eight, "This is one who destiny has picked to walk sideways through the worlds."

Kha Mantis, the cosmic guardian mantis, speaks ninth, "Stir a pot, gather some food.  Wise are those who go far in search of plenty."

Kha Magus, the cosmic teacher and magician, speaks tenth, "There is magic in desire for sure.  But what drives a man to risk all for little?  Travel the cosmos in search of thrills?  Some would deem it unwise.  None the less, the bored will do anything to relieve their burden."

Kha the Bard, the cosmic guide and musician, speaks eleventh, "This one will go the darkest places in the Mendelbrot Cosmic Tree.  He goes forth to the core of Black Lagoon.  From there he must go further to the depths of the Bonazza Void to find what he seeks, the great patch of chaotic darkness. From there he must go forth to the dread forest of darkness on the doomed world of Detheke, the most horrid place in known cosmos where only the dead dwell and vile vampires of old still linger." 

Kha Draconis, the cosmic dragon and third most powerful immortal, speaks twelfth, "This one will find many dragons indeed.  They are already waiting for him."

Svetia Kha, the cosmic Goddess and eternal lover of the Kha and greatest of the Immortals, speaks thirteenth,  "Love, oh poor Malkorius, the love of a fool you must seek.  Surely the reverse damsel you are.  Far must you travel to find your match.  Very, very far."

Kha Dawn, Lord of the Immortals, whose titles are extremely long though for the purpose of this matter he is usually referred to simply as the Conscience of the Mendelbrots, speaks last.  "You're an idiot for sure Malkorius.  When people know your real last name then your days of stupidity will be at an end.  Yes, surely.  But the cosmos has need of idiots once in a long while.  Just don't let me catch you messing with the master plan, for the Archangels of the Cosmic God are ever watchful.  And if you are wise you'd do well not to provoke any Archons.  NOW WAKE UP!"

"Captain, captain!"  several crew members were yelling at him.  "Sir!  Wake up sir!"  Captain Asshat suddenly rose straight up from his prone position and realized he was clearly on his way back to the Hall of Patience.

Captain Asshat:  What on Carpathia are you fools yelling at me for?

Crewmember:  Sir, we are tired of dragging you around sir.  No offense sir.

Captain Asshat:  Why didn't you just get a cart or something?

Crewmember:  Sir, mechanical contraptions are strictly forbidden in..

Captain Asshat:  Oh right, we're still in the damn Imperial Hall aren't we?   How long was I out for?

1st Officer Johnson:  About five minutes sir.  Are you quite alright, you look like you've been on a cosmic wave journey.

Captain Asshat:  Kha Dawn and the Immortals were just saying something to me.  Though the whole thing is foggy.  Did I ever tell you how much I hate cosmic wave journeys Johnson?  How come I never get the one's where you're floating through all the galaxies on a luxury cruise and everyone likes you?

1st Officer Johnson:  Because no one likes you sir.  Though, I find it hard to believe that the Immortals would bother talking to you, sir.

Captain Asshat:  Johnson, I don't know why I put up with you and your attitude.

1st Officer Johnson:  Because no one else would risk their lives doing your bidding Captain.

Captain Asshat: That's probably true.  Now what?  Are we going to have to wait I suppose.  Let's all go get a drink or something somewhere.  But first, Johnson, why wouldn't the Immortals want to talk with me?  I'm a member of this fabulous society of wonderful people aren't I?

1st Officer Johnson:  I think the only reason is probably because you did somebody a favor a long time ago sir in some distant past life, and now you're taking the opportunity to drive the rest of us mad with bad decisions.  None the less, I'm not going to betray you Captain.  I'm just along for the ride I suppose.  Luck has never been my strong suite.  And the rest of the crew feels the same way about theirs.

Captain Asshat:  I tell you Johnson the problem with everyone is that they lack perspective on everything.  We need to get out there and show them its possible to get what they want!   Don't you see the reasoning in it all Johnson?  We could all be the greatest if we just go out and grab destiny by the ass.

Crewmember:  Sir that didn't turn out too well last time you tried it.

Captain Asshat:  Well, I was drunk at the time and it seemed like a good idea.  None the less, we should all be so lucky as not to die when these sorts of deals go south like that particular incident.  It certainly helps to be able to regenerate limbs for sure!

Crewmember:  Yes sir, but you didn't lose any limbs.

Captain Asshat:  Well the guy who did was sure one lucky bastard.

Crewmember Dimillion:  That's one way of looking at it Captain.

Captain Asshat:  Dimillion, you're going to eventually discover that it's the only way to look at it.  That's what we call real world wisdom in the business.

Crewmember Dimillion:  Sir we haven't turned a profit in ages and I think that guy is still looking for us.

Captain Asshat:  He'll eventually discover that looking for me won't gain him anything since he already grew back his limb and that's that.  You see, perfectly logical?  Why can't everyone be perfectly logical about everything?

Crewmember Saporis:  Well logically sir, wouldn't it be logical to be angry about having to regrow a limb?

Captain Asshat:  Well I suppose if you have the wrong types of nerve endings, but surely that's already been settled.  We're not primitives you know.  I mean what could I possibly owe him now?

Crewmember Saporis:  I don't know sir, an apology, one of your limbs in exchange?  Who can say?

Captain Asshat:  Such complicated transactions.  Let's just forget about the whole thing so we can move on..you know..

Crewmember Saporis:  We'll its our job sir to remember these sorts of things in case..you know..they might come and take us out?  Security details and such.

Captain Asshat:  Well that's why you all are here.  Good job Saporis, you'll get a promotion for this.

Crewmember Saporis: When sir?

Captain Asshat:  As soon as I get me my galaxy size dragon head nicely mounted and with a certificate that says its an evil dragon head so no one complains like those nuts down at People for the Ethical Treatment of Dragons.

Crewmember Dimillion:  What makes them nuts?  Don't dragons have feelings too?

Captain Asshat: You people do not understand dragons, at all.  Right, Johnson?

1st Officer Johnson:  Sir, dragons are considered sacred throughout the Arkalkian Front.

Captain Asshat:  Yes, but what about evil dragons?

1st Officer Johnson: There are no evil dragons in the Mendelbrot Cosmic Tree.

Captain Asshat:  What about the Renko the Mad?

1st Officer Johnson:  Sir that was over half a quadrillion years ago and occurred in the border kingdom of Halftasia outside the borders of the Cosmic Tree.

Captain Asshat:  Well, that goes against your whole argument Johnson.  Now what do you say?

1st Officer Johnson:  It was outside the borders of the Cosmic Tree.

Captain Asshat:  Well what about Tamarlark the Unkind?

1st Officer Johnson:  That particular dragon was not a member of the Mendelbrot dragon flock and was in rebellion against the other dragons!  Sir, surely you cannot give that as an example.

Captain Asshat:  That is the example Johnson..there are bad dragons out there just like all the friendly smiling ones that pretend they have feelings.  Me insulting a space dragon is like an ant just called me a loser.  Why would I care?  Dragons aren't idiots Johnson, they understand the role they play and they most certainly aren't as sensitive as you weenies make them out to be.

1st Officer Johnson:  The Guardian Dragons should not be insulted!

Captain Asshat:  I didn't insult any Guardian Dragons, only the loser space riffraff dragons that hang out in dragon gangs wearing their dragons are bad tattoos and listening to dragon rap smokin' some dragon crystal or something.  You know what I'm talking about people?  Don't you see the connection?

Crewmember Dimillion:  Sir, you're just spreading malicious bigoted anti-dragon caricatures.  There is no such thing as dragon rap!  And dragon gangs are a thing of the past, like 1st Generation of Power past.

Captain Asshat: And what about the wild dragons of the chaos region?

Crewmember Dimillion:  How the hell should I know, we don't go to the chaos region to ask around.

Captain Asshat:  Why the hell not?

Crewmember Dimillion:  Because we don't belong there.  We are from here.

Captain Asshat:  That's exactly my point.  Some of you seriously lack curiosity.  What about the tales of the wild space dragons of the chaos region?  You've heard of them surely?

Crewmember Wonto:  I've read about them sir.  Seen some trans-vids too about how dangerous they can be if you aren't from their locally recognized societies.

Crewmember Dimillion:  You've been watching bullshit videos made by liars.  There are no chaos dragons running around attacking people.  It just doesn't happen.

Crewmember Wonto:  How do you know?  You've never been a day outside the ship anywhere in the last million years Dimillion.  You've got no clue at all.  I think the Captain's right on.  It's obvious there are some bad dragons somewhere and why should we wait until they are chomping on our bones?

Captain Asshat:  Well there you have it, I finally got someone to agree with me on this trip. We should ask an expert.

Crewmember Dimillion: Like who?

Captain Asshat:  Like a Crystal Dragon from the high class of Dragons, you know the Dragon aristocracy  They will tell us exactly what's going in dragon politics so we can figure out how to handle this.

Crewmember Wonto:  I know a Crystal Dragon.  You want me to ask her captain?  She's really polite and everything.

Captain Asshat:  Yes, lets set up a meeting.  That will give us something to do while we wait for my sister to available.

1st Officer Johnson:  Sir, Crystal Dragons are notoriously long winded.  They also don't take kindly to stupid questions from nobodies.

Captain Asshat:  I'm the brother of the Empress which matters to them I can assure you.

1st Officer Johnson:  Well why haven't you spoken to any in your life up to this point?

Captain Asshat: I have Johnson, just not on any first name basis with any dragons.

1st Officer Johnson:  Yes, the Imperial embarrassment greater than in any in the last ten generations since Hector the Unconventional.  Surely sir, you've managed to outdo everyone since then in being unable to hobnob with anyone of significance being completely self absorbed for a member of the Imperial family.

Captain Asshat:  Hector was underrated.  I've always liked his story.  He really told it like it was.  Dragons love politics, I've learned that much since my last meeting with them.  They'll be thrilled that we want to bust up their riffraff cousins.  Trust me.  They hate evil dragons just as much as anybody.  What's this Crystal Dragon's name Wonto?

Wonto:  Infairicus.  I've known her since we went to school together.

Captain Asshat:  Well let her know our situation that way we can talk to her about what she knows.  Does she know alot in your opinion?

Wonto:  I think she might be able to get us entry to Biodraconis actually if she doesn't know enough about the matter herself.  I'm sure she will tell you what the general opinion of the space Dragons of the primary Cosmic Tree flock think in general about these sorts of things.

1st Officer Johnson:  Biodraconis?  Have you lost your mind Wonto?  That's the main nesting planet of the Crystal Dragons!  Do you have any idea what it is like?

Wonto:  Yes, I've seen trans-vids about that place as well.  It's a huge oblong double asteroid shaped mega-planet.  Third largest planet in the Arkalkian Front right after Arkalkia and Luffania.  It's population consists of godzillions of space dragons, mostly Crystal Dragons and is home to the Dragon nobility and aristocracy.  Visitors are permitted in the great plains away from the nesting areas in the mountains.

1st Officer Johnson:  I've been to Biodraconis.  It's the scariest place that one can imagine.  The feel of the place is eerie beyond comparison.  These are not city sized dragons like around where you come from Wonto.  The smallest dragons on Biodraconis are the size of medium sized planets.  They are born that way from eggs the size of medium sized planets.  They eat medium sized planets.  Do you understand? 

Captain Asshat:  Stop being so pathetic Johnson.  Just don't go around trying to steal any dragon eggs and everything will be fine.  Got that Wordsworth?

2nd Officer Wordsworth:  I only stole one.

Captain Asshat:  Make sure it stays that way.

2nd Officer Wordsworth:  Yes sir.

1st Officer Johnson:  The point, sir, is that people don't go to Biodraconis to inquire about how things are going with the dragon world.  It's not exactly a place to say hello.  You know dragons like to flock all over that planet and the planet is filled to the brim with them.  These dragons don't live in palaces, they like the primal way and live in massive space cliffs and deep in ravines all over the place.  It's been like that since the beginning as far I as I know.   They live like dragons are meant to live there.

Wonto:  Sir, there are several reception halls there for non dragons like us.  We can surely get along with the dragons there.

!st Officer Johnson:  Contact Infairicus first, see what she tells you.  Hopefully we won't have to go to Biodraconis.  That place freaks me out.

Wonto:  Yes sir..err..sirs.  Right Captain?

Captain Asshat:  Do as the 1st Officer commands Wonto.

Wonto:  Yes sir.

The Supreme Mandarin Council Chamber is one of the most amazing pieces of architectural grace in the Arkalkian Front, the military alliance between 8 powers that protects the Mendelbrot Cosmic Tree from threats.  Covered in living fractal stone and metal works that shift and change colors in a psychedelic mode, the Supreme Mandarin Council Chamber was designed like all living architecture to come alive for each individual who enters personally.  Almost as massive as the Imperial Hall and divided into 10,000 different areas with unique culturally regionally specific forms of art and effects for each of the 10,000 Supreme Mandarins who govern the Empire in the name of the Biarchy, equally presided over by the Emperor and the Empress, who hold equal status in the eyes of the countless peoples of the Mendelbrot systems.   

Again, a stage play cannot possibly convey the scene in even the remotest sense so that the focus of the stage play is an attempt to depict the most important room in the Mendelbrot Empire, the Imperial Chamber of the 10,000 located at the very front of the Supreme Mandarin Chamber adjoining the Mendel Khan Inner Fortress which separates the Imperial Residence of the Carpathian Cosmic Citadel from the other chambers and halls described as well as thousands of others not described.  It is specifically in the Imperial Chamber of the 10,000 that the the most important meetings of the Empire occur during crisis or "emergency social function" and periodically annually by the Carpathian year for the Conclave of the Cosmic Tree.

During any of these functions the 10,000 Supreme Mandarins, who are the aristocracy in charge of overseeing judgement and dispute in the Empire, meet before the Emperor, the Empress, and the adults of the Royal Family presided over by 10,000 Supreme Oracles of the Immortals who are the spiritual leaders who interpret the will of the Mendelbrot and the will of the Kha.  In addition to these two orders of cosmic bureaucracy and spirituality respectively, the sitting Divine Testimentarian and Divine Metraxis, the two most powerful spiritual leaders in the Empire, one male and the other female always, sit with the Oracles with grave presence and purpose.  And last but not least, the Arkalkian Front leaders of the other seven powers of the Front are always present in some capacity, though only in person during a very serious crisis.

Above the gathered host of all of these powerful figures on the ceiling of this amazing chamber lies the great fractal field of the Mendelbrot hierarchy, which shows among other things the current "time" in high mendelese language that is in a fractal form that few beings can understand easily.  For time in high mendelese includes information about the conditions of the Mendelbrot Tree and all the cosmic systems surrounding the tree up to the great cosmic spirit barrier which separates the Tree from the border kingdoms that shield the tree from the events of the what in darker times is called the chaos region.  Also displayed in fractal from is the wealth of various Mendelbrot society members and conditions of spiritual weather throughout the different divisions of the Mendelbrot aristocracy of which there are a vast, vast number of individual levels.  The great chamber is often a psychedelic trip or a cosmic wave journey for worthy citizens simply because the culture of its nature is so deep and old that only those prepared can even imagine what it is like.  Average citizens do not enter the chamber at all but are dealt with by a Mandarin in a separate area within a part of the rest of the Supreme Manderin Chamber.

Yet no court is in session this day as Captain Asshat approaches his sister Empress Rachariel whose titles are vast and too lengthy to go into here as she sits on the Throne of the Empress and wears the Fractal Crown which itself is more intelligent that even some Crystal Dragons.

The Fractal Crown:  Along comes Malkorius, woe be to his wretched lack of discipline and sense of duty.  Welcome still you are Malkorius.

Captain Asshat:  I prefer not to use that name you rambling piece of jewelry.  Really now, who in name of Kha Dawn uses a talking crown?

Empress Rachariel:  Must you blaspheme the name of the Consience as well?  Go on and speak then.  It's not as though I don't already know why you are here Malkorius.  And you are named Malkorius by our mother and father should you have not remembered their hallowed decisions.

Captain Asshat:  You would know best sister dearest.  And Kha Dawn and I are quite well friendly with each other.  I had a wonderful vision of him and the Immortals before I came here not a few days ago after an unfortunate incident with one of your most delightful priestesses.  You really ought to give that one a promotion, she exceeded herself this time for sure.  Delightfully polite mind you, delightfully.

Empress Rachariel:  Brother, stop wasting time.  Come now come close I wish to embrace your wretched excuse for an existence.

Captain Asshat and Rachariel hug briefly.

Empress Rachariel:  So you want to go to the outer regions beyond the great Ring Kingdoms to find what awaits you in the chaos of the darkened space.  Curious.  What possesses you to go looking for the dark dragons now?  Just another adventure I suppose Malkorius?  Do tell me that you've spoken with some of our good dragon advisors..  Well close enough I suppose your dragon friend you will meet will help.  And you did indeed speak with the Kha I can see it in your eyes.  Oh dear.  Well, at least he finds you useful.  So it is!

Captain Asshat:  Sister I do not wish to bother with the usual suspects in your hall, their opinion of me is quite low and I don't wish to cause our family any further embarrassment.  Although, I do need some excitement I'm simply sick of all the complacency.  Nothing good has come of this era we have been most unfortunate enough to have been born in.  No offense of course to you or the Emperor.

Empress Rachariel:  Well surely it has been a low for everyone due to the instability of recent times but we can't go straight up all the time now can we?  Such is as it is.  Tell me how is your 1st Officer?  Still putting up with your lack of direction?

Captain Asshat:  Yes in fact, it is true, he is.  Loyal to the last, but a bit on the slow side I think.  All the same he balances me in many ways.

Empress Rachariel:  You need alot of balancing Malkorius.  Try not to get us into too much trouble with the wild beings of the chaos region.  I will allow you to take the Prankster out there.  You have to retrofit it with some more advanced metaphasic subdimensional dampeners though.  I will require that.

Captain Asshat:  There better not be any tricks sister.

Empress Rachariel:  Well in that department brother no one can fool you, so why should you be so concerned.  It's the one thing you've proven your better at than anyone.  We'll have to have you redesign the whole fleet one day if you ever decide to stop drifting through the universe missing mother.

Captain Asshat:  I'd rather not talk about it still sister.  May I go before things become emotional.  You know how I feel about emotions.

Empress Rachariel:  Be gone then fool!  Behave yourself.  Everyone is watching.  And they will want to have a full report when you get back from your expedition.

Captain Asshat:  Can I be reinstated into the good graces of the Supreme Mandarin Council?

Empress Rachariel:  I think you've got alot to prove before I can allow that.  I don't think dead space dragons will go a long way to restoring anything to you.  Although, it remains to be seen what this is all about.  I suppose that redesign of the fleet will have to wait until you prove you're beyond your latest lack of good and sound judgement.   None the less the Kha has spoken to you and the Immortals so that must mean something.  And even I or the Emperor can't have much to say about that.  I suppose the mystery will reveal itself on your little trip.  Enjoy it, brother.  May it deliver you into the arms of Wisdom.

Captain Asshat:  As you say sister.  May the light of the Mendelbrot guide your reign always.

Empress Rachariel:  See you can be polite brother.

Captain Asshat:  Don't push your luck your majesty.

Empress Rachariel:  Off with you then.

To Be Continued... 

If you like this story I have another unfinished story called Quackle at the end of The Incomplete Story History of the Mendelbrot Universe which is similarly structured to this story.  I have several other stories in there that are currently shorter and also unfinished as well.

The Unchanging Ground of Spiritual Idealism

The future of our world isn't written in stone.  But the choices people make are inevitably the by-product of what they know or think they know about reality.  This is what makes prophecy possible in that people are as predictable as any other system in existence.  People make choices based on their essential nature.  It is for this reason that the idea of the inevitable rise of the secular humanism consensus of the next two millennia is easy to see and expect.

Yet what cannot be changed is the idea that the human is not entirely a physical being.  This idea, that which is called spiritual idealism, will continue to be a continuous and unwavering thorn in the side of secular humanists even as they attempt to oppress spirituality during certain parts of the future of the new Age of Aquarius.  Why would they bother to attempt to oppress anything?  To understand we must look at what makes a secular humanist atheist believe what they believe.

Humanism is the byproduct of certain inevitable thoughts against religion that is based on the abuse of power caused by the misinterpretation of metaphysical speculation by those who wish to use deception through the manipulation of spiritual information to control the way people behave.  The inevitable reaction against such a corruption of the spiritual tradition produces the anti-spiritual philosophy of material realism and its uncompromisingly reductionist ideology which simplifies all phenomenon to a byproduct of physicality.  Such an anti-spiritual philosophy is then easy to support through brutalism and extreme skepticism.  Since most anti-intellectual and anti-spiritual atheists are lazy thinkers and stupid bullies, this makes for an easy way to bully anyone with an alternative opinion.

And this is of course is easy because the party line of the majority is going to have a great deal of weight added to it by every me-too group thinker in creation.  Once all the mediocre minds have backed this position it will become very difficult for the spiritual minority to get a fair hearing about any real ideas without a substantial backup in the philosophy department.  And once the corruption cycle gets started where advanced mediocrity becomes instilled in institutional academia, you won't be unseating those high and mighty secular atheist humanist professors any time soon.  They like their cushy jobs.  So then if you want to be spiritual in some parts of the world in the future, you're just going to have to do it the old fashioned way, secretly.

Why, you might ask, can't we easily confront these people and their bullshit?  Well, it comes down to the fact that they are in charge and we aren't.  You see when you go against the grain of the big egos in charge, they come down on you hard.  So the trick is not to confront them until they have screwed up big time and then do so in a coalition of like minded causes.  This is the basis of successful political coalitions.  The future is political unfortunately, which will sadden many of you idealists.  But you'll just have to put your fat idealist ego aside for once and make a coalition that works.

Natural allies of spiritual idealists are eco-conscious atheists who will also be oppressed by the brutalist faction of atheists.  Artists are the most obvious natural allies of this coalition of consciousness.  Other spiritual idealists are also natural allies, though there is a great deal of animosity between some factions of the metaphysical community especially between groups with a long history of hostility between each other.  Eventually spiritual idealism will win the argument over the long run.  However, the dominance of materialist factions is assured for the next two millennia outside of certain open minded and richer cultures of conscious thought.

Spiritual idealism will remain the minority position and the majority will for a long time always default to its old habits of clinging to materialist reasoning.  In some ways this will actual be a benefit as much of the superstitious nonsense that passes for spirituality will be eroded considerably over the course of the next 2000 years.  That means when real spirituality begins to emerge again it will be strongly Earth based which will result in the rise of the eco-spiritual culture rooted in the love and protection of Mother Earth.   Such a culture will challenge the dominant secular humanist consensus and its excessively techno-industrial anthropocentrism.

Eventually over time spiritual idealism will return and incorporate the more elaborate holistic spiritual metaphysics described in many of my essays.  This elaboration will, especially in the Age of Sagittarius, lead to the completion of the historical arc that first leads from the old spiritual ideology of the past towards atheism and the secular humanist consensus and then back towards a new spiritual mindedness and spiritual idealism that refocuses the human mind on the more advanced notions of self presented as keys to unlocking the deeper intimacy possible through greater spiritual and mental integration.

This entire process will take considerable time, as I expect primitivism to be the dominant mode of existence on this planet as a psychological narrative for approximately 30,000 - 32,000 years.  The reason for this vast length of time is that psychologically and spiritually the human being lacks the desire to know itself deep enough in order to break the cycle of ignorance to what is truly real about creation.  The soon to come secular humanist consensus will demonstrate this fact clearly in its latest form.  Essentially the masses cling to the general narrative of each age without being touched enough by the spiritual elite to change from being followers to being leaders of their own spiritual journey into the super-conscious self.

The elite, in fact, have not even reached this stage as only a very few of the most dedicated spiritual seekers have gotten far enough to open the door to this stage in human evolution.  What this means is that spiritual idealism is not even the goal of this process but instead the awakening of the human psychic mind is the goal.  When this process is complete for each individual, they have access to super-conscious knowledge of their true nature as beings.  This will only be possible for the elite until this period of about 30,000 years from now when the general process may be attempted by all as part of the education of the human race of that time period.  While, of course, this is not set in stone as any prediction of the future cannot be, it does seem as though this amount of time will be required to establish the ground of what it is that humans will need to be aware of in order to truly move beyond the limited narratives of what collectively has been chosen as our personal expressions.

As such spiritual idealism is the hope that is the gateway that leads to the possibility of mass enlightenment.  With that mass enlightenment we can have a conscious civilization in the light of full knowledge of who and what we are.  This is the future.  But in order for it to be manifest a journey is required of every single human being and that journey will take about 30,000 years.  Some will get their first on their own and realize that the work is not done until everyone is equally psychic to the truth of their own and everyone else's true nature.  This is beyond what the New Age theorists have demanded because none of them possesses this level of consciousness because they cannot know the past lives of those who are around them.  This is in fact the critical test of knowledge for this level of consciousness.

Everyone must remember and everyone must remember the same thing.  And unfortunately this cannot be reasonably done until the planetary crisis that could kill us all (you know global warming, nuclear catastrophe, all that physical stuff, etc) is resolved.  And then, those who are ready first, the human elite, can attempt to put the pieces together one step at a time whenever the opportunity arises.  Most of this will be done in secret because the majority doesn't like when some people have advantages over them.  Until such time as the issues with the planetary survival problem and the problem with the masses resisting the rights of the more advanced minority to pursue the research independently of their fat egoic opinions, the longed for return of the Christ and full consciousness will have to be delayed.  I've written a "prophecy" about this on this website here.

There will be many that come along and claim they have arrived at full consciousness who have not.  Each time this happens a movement will rise and fall.  Over the course of human history this will occur until the prophecies are fulfilled in a manner such that the requirements of history are met.  Otherwise the ideas will have been shown to be unfulfilled and the spiritual test of the human experience will not be complete.  The prophecies represent the completion of this spiritual test.  When full consciousness is reached then the conditions of the prophecies will be met.  There are other requirements in consciousness described by my teacher and written of in the prophecy I have written in brief as I understand them.  These concepts must all be integrated in order for the future to be fulfilled in the manner that is correct, proper, and necessary.

The most important thing that is greater is, again, the survival of this planet, and for that the idea of the Green Front or Green Army is necessary.  This machine of consciousness will arise organically to deal with all aspects of the environmental crisis staffed by the leaders of consciousness and eventually championed by the people as well soon and will dominate the consciousness of people 80 years from now.  When this movement completes it's purpose the planet will be saved but humanity will be permanently divided into factions for 30,000 years until the fulfillment of the spiritual heritage of our species spiritual and psychic history.  This is, in fact, the only way any species develops anywhere in the cosmos.  It is, in fact, a prerequisite to demonstrate consciousness of this magnitude to be accepted into the ranks of a universal community of intelligent extraterrestrials who have had all these thoughts for longer than we and likely are awaiting the completion of our physical, intellectual, spiritual, and psychic mastery of our own species first.

Our answers to their questions one day will be the demonstration of our self knowledge and intelligence regarding our nature as what we are.  Once this matter is resolved completely, I believe these extraterrestrials will make themselves known to us.  Why would they even bother to say hello until we had truly answered the most basic philosophical, scientific, and spiritual questions of being?  By any measure few have even asked the right questions until I wrote my essays attempting to draw up what needed to be defined first in order for the tests of knowledge to begin.  It's going to be a long haul especially for the smarter among you.  And after that it's going to be a long embarrassing walk of shame for those of you on the dumber end of the cosmic spectrum.  Try not to kill too many of us, we just keep coming back for more.  My hat's off to reincarnation.  Spiritual idealism cannot be killed.  It is the unchanging ground of hope that one day the answers will be wrestled once more from the darkness of the journey through a world wracked in the belief that it is impossible to know the truth of spirit even when these truths are right there hidden behind the veil for anyone to reach out and pluck out.   All one has to do is breathe and the rest shall be revealed when the time is right.

Flow on dreamer.
Flow on schemer.

All these things and more shall you observe.
And when the flow goes back to home.

You shall know what's yours...

The Alternative To Cosmic Ray Powered Stars

While creating the cosmic ray powered stars, galaxies, and universe model years ago I had to seriously consider alternative thoughts with regard to our current model, the fusion powered solar paradigm.  I considered the implications of expansion theory in this in order to complete the work began by Mark McCutcheon and to seriously consider whether there were any scenarios under which a universe could exist powered on hydrogen fusion as envisioned by our current ideas.

The model that I developed I called the Hydrogen Regeneration Hydrogen Fusion Universe was based on the idea that hydrogen, if it were possible to generate fusion energy from true proton-proton fusion, would be recycled in this type of universe.  While I ultimately rejected this idea for reasons described below, a basic overview will show the most plausible mechanisms in my understanding of Expansion Theory that might explain our current solar paradigms using the new theory.

In proton-proton fusion as it is currently envisioned through various steps in different types of main sequence stars, four protons combine to form a helium nucleus.  The difference in the mass of four hydrogen atoms and one helium atom is then assumed to be released in the form of energy through Einstein's E=MC^2 equation automatically liberating the energy.  A star is theoretically supported by the force of the fusion of protons that take place in the star's nucleus.  A balance then is created between the amount of fusion necessary to keep the star's current size and gravity which is constantly driving this process.  This is visioned as a dynamic equilibrium in current models.

The question must be asked, where does the energy to propel the liberated missing mass from the protons in the proton-proton fusion reactions come from?  In our current theories there is essentially no answer.  E=MC^2 automatically applies for some reason no one has clearly defined and that no one can clearly explain.  McCutcheon's expansion theory offers a plausible solution to this dilemma as physical mechanisms may exist plausibly in our current hypothetical realms of the possible.

Mark, in his book though, stuck with a similar Einstein idea that simply said once the electrons (the basic particle of matter in the universe of which everything including protons and neutrons are made in the new theory) are released from their nuclear confinement they automatically just expand at a massive rate (because they are already doing so anyway within the atom) and are thus liberated as free energy.  This is similar to Einstein's idea though with a graphical representation of liberated electron clusters flying through non-atomic space at the huge non nuclear natural expansion rate of the electron in that the electron automatically has this energy built into it somehow without having to account for it in any way.  I couldn't agree to the idea in total because it denies the fact that energy is carried by these electrons as a function of their relative motion, which in physics analysis is called vector motion.

In my own analysis I found that the idea that freely expanding electron clusters carried huge energy difficult to digest in light of the problem of vector motion which I wrote about extensively in the analysis.  Essentially, the problem is that energy is still energy.  When things move they have an inertia and that energy is conserved and vector motion needs to be conserved if things aren't going to get too weird.  Freely expanding electron clusters, in my estimation, simply cannot be ejected from the nucleus and be expected to carry a massive energy automatically.  I could not visual this idea at all as it failed logical tests in my own mind concerning the ideas of energy.  Of course I accepted the idea of the clusters expansion, just not the free energy lunch part of it.

The alternative to this is to construct a mechanism within the nucleus to account for energy as it is classically understood (more or less).  In our case we would have to construct a model of the proton that would allow for the energy to be liberated through a mechanism similar to that of a spring.  A metal spring stores physical energy and a spring represents the best analogy to something that may, once it's pent up structure is unhinged, release stored physical energy in a manner that is consistent with latent buildup of pressure in structure.  If the hydrogen atom is so constructed, then indeed it would be possible to make such a process work assuming the energy contained in the structure in sufficient once liberated to account for what is required for the solar fusion model to work.  I have suggested that deuterium and tritium as well as other proven energetically releasing atoms and isotopes have some pent up structural mechanism at work that when broken releases this stored pressure within their structure.

In such a system, an energy storing mechanism would have to be constructed to account for why energy was stored in hydrogen in the first place.  The mechanism I decided on was cosmic ray bombardment of the heavy nuclei of deep space and old stellar cores.  These cosmic rays could reintroduce energy into what are (in current theory) considered to be energy poor nucleuses (from the point of view of current fusion theory), especially Iron and Cobalt which are considered in current theory to be the least energetic nucleuses for nuclear fusion (or fission for that matter).  Again, that all has to do with the amount of mass in the nucleus as measured relative to other nucleusus in the current E=MC^2 standard model paradigm.  But for our purposes what we are looking for as students of the new Expansion Theory is how hydrogen gets its extra energy that allows it to expel it's "energy per nucleon" into light in the form of electron clusters as the new theory states that light consists of.

This is explained hypothetically by the idea that cosmic rays impart changes in structure to the proton when they impact these large nucleusus in deep space breaking them apart and recharging the universal supply of hydrogen that gets used up in our current model by stars.  In a universe without a big bang you have to explain how it is that everything hasn't quite ended given the fact that all the hydrogen is constantly being used up.  So, obviously, over time, the cosmic rays have to reintroduce the energy back into the equation by evaporating large white dwarves and other old dead stellar cores in our current model slowly converting back into the original material that we currently think of as being the most important for energy generation.  That is, of course, hydrogen.

So we have a plausible physical mechanism of energy storage in hydrogen and a cycle that accounts for what we observe in the universe without resulting in any big bang shenanigans.  However, the problem now is the problem of the lack of a real physical model of the atom.  We don't have one yet.  And in addition, the bigger problem is that protons, as we understand them now, are just too simple of a structure to be structured in a way that suggests they could possibly store energy through a complex mechanism that allows for such a hypothetical pressure storage whether spring like or not.  The more complex deuterium and tritium don't have this problem.  And that creates a big pickle for the nuclear powered fusion model in the new Expansion Theory paradigm.

While I envisioned a proton as being made of huge numbers of electrons as described in my core essay, an idea strongly supported by existing physical experiments primarily Max Plank's, the simple number of electrons still isn't sufficient to account for the complexity suggested.  There is no current evidence of a complex hydrogen nucleus that suggest it could possibly store energy in such a manner.  Now, of course, no one has had to look for one yet, but still it would require a huge amount of research and thinking to suggest where we could go from here with this idea.  It goes against everything we think we know so far in that hydrogen is the simple nucleus consisting of a single proton and an single electron "probability" cloud.  Where would it hide a mechanism for the mechanical storage of energy?  Deuterium and tritium have at least a neutron or two and a proton that could overlap accounting for the stored energy, but what about the lowly proton? 

In this idea we consider the classical case for energy again as known physics suggests.  Energy is motion and vector motion is conserved so that energy outside the boundary of the expanding electron is real in this world.  It doesn't diminish so the universe is a mechanical machine made of expanding electrons and the ever present vector motion of these very electrons that are the carriers of this motion and are the transformers of it in space (again my core essay goes into the physical descriptions in great detail and what would properly be described as the physical philosophy of expanding matter and energy).

In order to support the idea of standard fusion in the new model mechanical energy must be stored in the hydrogen atom to account for the energy necessary to support stars as they are currently envisioned in the fusion model of stars.  No physical proof of these support structures exists.  No physical model exists.  No explanation that is based on real physics exist.  Our current stellar theories are a fantasy.  They have no basis in real science.  They have never been proven through extensive observation.  Constant new evidence is being discovered which discounts what is claimed in the finer points of current stellar theory.  And more new evidence will come to light exposing the weaknesses in current theory with each passing year.

Yet cosmic ray powered stars have a support mechanism that I have described vividly in complete physical detail down to a great extent.  That is a fact.

For those who wish to try and salvage the only thing that is possibly even remotely salvageable from convention cosmology, the fusion powered model of the star, I have given you all the tools necessary to find what it is you must be looking for.  Good luck.  And it would be delightful if you gave me some credit when you start down your thought experiments.  I was there first pointing you in the right direction.  May the best theory win in the light of the evidence of science.

Kabbalistic Metaphysics: The Map of Internal Spiritual Relationships

Kabbalistic Metaphysics: The Tree of Life and the Map of Internal Spiritual Relationships
In order to understand spiritual evolution it is necessary to construct a map to see how it takes place as part of a systemic understanding of beings as they are beyond the normal human understanding.  In this vein of reasoning over the years I used the Tree of Life from the Jewish tradition of Kabbalah, which is the unparalleled resource for this approach.  The Tree of Life itself is a fundamental map to understand relationships in consciousness as they pertain to internal levels of consciousness within an experience.  All one requires really is the name of those levels and suddenly life itself is revealed to be an internal journey of a certain type within a certain context once one understand the rest of what is taught about our world and universe.
Everything in the cosmos is a Tree of Life and can be described with one.  This is the amazing versatility of the Tree of Life as a analytical tool for spiritual scientists looking to express the universe and everything in it through a thorough systemology.  There is a great, great deal that goes into this sort of analysis as the structure of the Tree of Life is not technically as limited as most works on the subject would have you believe.  The Tree of Life has the potential to have any number of sephiroth (the spheres in the diagram) that can be conceived creating a massive cosmic function, however for our purposes, quite fortunately, what we deal can be expressed with a few relatively easy to understand diagrams.  Here is an example of the use of the extended diagram by a mystic
We should start with the concept of the human being as an expression of the divine inner higher self, the angel within.  As an understanding a human is an angel who is living a material life in the dense 3d world of matter.  The purpose of this evolution internally is the evolution of the angelic soul until it reaches perfection.  This process, an emotional evolution, is the spiritual purpose of individual human lifetimes.
In order to conceive of this concept it is necessary for you to understand yourself as a spirit as opposed to a human that is only material.  As much as the material life we live is dominant, the evolution of the soul is demonstrated from the concept of a being that is transdimensional which is capable of abstracting the human experience into a more refined psychospiritual narrative of evolutionary development through mastery, a word I become familiar with through my teacher's ideas, though my father was himself also known to occasionally use the term mastery on rare occasions.  I, however, began to actually attempt the practice of mastery after my teacher perhaps shoved me back on the path of mastery that was implied by my father's ideas which he often did not quite know how to communicate to me properly.
Yet here I wish to show mastery of the idea of Kabbalah as a metaphysical system when properly utilized with the Tree of Life to show what we are essentially in spiritual analysis if we are to accept the idea that we are evolving spirits.  It is fairly obvious if you think about it that humans must be essentially classified as angelic spirits as a human being is an angel in incarnation without much debate on the matter if you take into account the idea that we have any transdimensional existence at all.  This essay is not a debate with atheists or materialists but is a map for those who wish to see the power of Kabbalah as a system of consciousness.
The basic tree of life absent of any labels that all metaphysicians should be more or less familiar with is shown below:
I have omitted all the standard labels from Jewish mysticism for which there are many websites dedicated to for those interested in that subject.  I will mention that the top sphere is called kether traditionally.  It represents the head and the highest within us.  The bottom sphere is called malkuth and represents the world in which we live and matter itself when used traditionally by most sources.  The most interesting sphere is the one that is not considered connected to any of the others which is  the one that is made of dotted lines.  This one, which is often omitted entirely in many Tree of Life diagrams is called Daath and represents that which is hidden and the mystery.  Each of these spheres is properly called a Sephiroth which is a domain of creation that exists as part of the kingdom of the most high whose name is not spelled out for serious Jews because to do so is sacrilege.
In my understanding of the cosmos, again, everything is a Tree of Life just like the one shown above.  Daath represents that which we do not know about ourselves and the mystery of us.  Once we awaken Daath within us, the tree of life itself changes within us.  However, this is a mystical subject for another time.
All that is known is angelic.  An angel exists in a space where all is known.  This means that when we look at a being such as an angel or other transdimensional being we don't see a Daath in the diagram.  So there are in fact two diagrams, one with Daath and one without.  When considering human evolution the angel is clear minded and not developing itself further as part of its cosmic overfunctions (which is a horribly complicated subject also not for this time).
Here is the angelic Tree of Life for angels which are obviously non-physical beings that live in higher dimensional space:
Tree of Life diagram of an angel living in the higher dimensions or transdimensional space
What we see above is an angel whether incarnating or not incarnating as a perfect being reflecting itself to itself.  This is not the same as it's self existing nature which is its very life as experienced through consciousness, but it's essential spiritual level in consciousness in its angelic realms above the physical planes of existence.  Here the angel knows the most high's master plan for it and is living tranquilly in its non-physical abode of harmonic self understanding.
The levels of consciousness reflected by the different levels here represent perfected forms of consciousness.  The exception to this is the kether, again the highest Sephiroth.  Here the angel touches the greater Archangelic spirit above it, but because its Archangelic mind and self are not open yet, it does not have a comprehension of that level of divine activity.   An angel is not an Archangel.  But it does have a sense of what is going on above it in creation and that its part in creation is related to the Archangel purpose for its station in existence.  That is the essence of its completion in the chain of being.
When we look at other Tree of Life diagrams this relationship will become clearer.  Every being in the cosmos has a limit in terms of its developmental level and that limit is implied by the name of the highest kether of its highest spirit in development as an absolute being.  However, for now let us continue observing the human level of this consciousness to know about how it works in theory.
Before an angel incarnates as a human, it must descend in consciousness from its angelic form into a human form.  The diagram above must now be looked at from the new perspective just before the inception into human consciousness as we study these abstract ways of seeing in order to focus our mind on what is happening at the higher planes in terms of this shift.
Tree of Life diagram for certain aspects of human and angelic evolution.  This is the abstract of the full angelic body without taking into account any Archangelic evolution occurring in the angelic body right before incarnation as a human being.
What we see above is the Tree of Life diagram for certain aspects of human and angelic evolution.  Each rectangular block above represents an extension of the Sephiroth (the spheres) above it.  The central block up the central pillar is the angelic path up towards the Angelic Spirit.  A human child of an angel who incarnates as that human is on that central pillar in the angelic path.  The lesser Angelic Mind and Self are only partial Angelic Mind and Self elements designed to guide us.  They are of course part of us, not separate guides though these do exist as well.
The lesser Angelic Mind and Self must be below the line of the full angelic spirit in order to be used by the human incarnation of the angel.  The human child as the lesser Angelic Spirit must stay above the line separating the rational mind and self because it uses these as it’s lower tools of self development.  Because it is the center (as Daath) of a tree of life between the Angelic Spirit and midline between the Angelic and Rational Spirits, it uses part of the Angelic Mind as it’s higher mind and part of the Angelic Self as it’s greater self while it uses the Rational Mind and Self as its daily functioning consciousness.  The rational mind and self thus must remain below the child on the larger tree while the lesser Angelic mind and Self must remain above it, but below the level of the complete Angelic Spirit which is the highest spirit guiding the development of the human through the human kether (the 1st sephiroth (sphere)).
You can see in the diagram above that the new future human incarnation will move one spirit Sephiroth down from where it was as the new mini spheres that are colored above will be the normal branches of the next Tree of Life diagram to be displayed.  The human is one spirit Sephiroth down from the Angel in its normal functioning because it no longer uses the complete Angelic Mind/Self as these do not drop down into human incarnation, and does not have immediate access to the Archangelic as these functions of creation are beyond its immediate concern.
The lesser Angelic Mind/Self combo instead serve as the human powers of the light to become more.  These are what humans call the higher Mind and higher Self, but these are lesser than the full Angelic Mind/Self of the consciousness of those who have passed on or of those who are about to incarnate.  The mind of the most high has filled these minds with the light of divine to show them the path thus returning them to their true angelic natures after they have passed from this world to the next.
So then the human when born has its spiritual life displayed through the Tree of Life below:
Tree of Life diagram for a human being with a conscience
The Tree of Life diagram above shows the human experience in its current level of development.  The lesser Angelic Spirit exists in the dark in the Daath in the diagram as a mystery prior to its inception in consciousness.  The spirit rises up from the lesser Angelic Spirit towards the greater one through the activity of the conscious breath of Life within and by the activity of the Higher Mind and Higher Self in this diagram called the lesser Angelic Mind and Self to show the connection to the higher planes of reality in the seamless stream of consciousness that is real from that point of view.
In addition this diagram shows the fundamental relationships of human psychology through the primary features of human consciousness that are dealt with on a day to day basis.  Human psychology is rooted in understanding and taming our instincts through the use of the rational mind.  Underneath it all is the root of human consciousness, the Reflective Spirit of what we call the personal unconscious or waking consciousness.  Like a mirror, the Reflective Spirit maintains the whole of the human psychic drama within a singular vessel of reflection.
The instinctive and rational levels of this diagram show the position of the animal kingdom within the human psyche.  The human being has developed its rationality to control its instinct.  Now the higher spirit demands that the rationality be controlled by the conscience to facilitate further evolution.  How is this possible?  Only through inner journeying into one's own mysterious experience at the deepest layers of meaning through emotion.  The completion of being occurs in that angelic sphere of consciousness that is our attempt to see ourselves completely as spiritual expressions.
The use of the Tree of Life can be used to analyze other types of consciousness such as animals and plants.  In humans the top level of kether is the Angelic Spirit, because humans are evolving a complete conscience as part of their experience.  In animals the top level is the evolving Rational Spirit as animals are evolving their ability to think still and their ability to abstract reality.  In plants, the highest spirit is the Instinctive Spirit which is being evolved to create a complete Instinctive Mind/Self that will be used when the plant spirit evolves over time into an animal.  These processes take vast amounts of time across many planetary evolutions.  The exact number is determinable by scientific analysis I believe because the cosmos operates like a spiritual machine in my understanding from the abstract view of the principles of creation.
Tree of Life diagram for an animal or a sub-sentient human without a conscience
The governing principle of the animal evolution is the development of the ego through evolution of the Rational Mind over time.  While the full human is dominated by the Reflective Spirit of consciousness, the animal and sub-sentient human is dominated by the Elemental Spirit of consciousness which is much more unstable.  This is shown by which type of spirit takes up malkuth, the lowest Sephiroth.
Animals, like humans, have souls, but they have animal souls as opposed to human ones.  In the higher dimensions animals exist as animal devas which are the animal equivalent of angels.  I also refer to this class of spirit as higher fairies which is the actual spirit nature of animal souls.  The animal soul as a complete vessel of consciousness is actually extremely sophisticated in these higher planes in the same way that the highest angelic self of you is much more sophisticated that the current human version of you.  This idea may be difficult to believe or understand for most I think for now.
Tree of Life diagram for an animal deva also known as a higher fairy.  This is the spirit of the animal long before it is born and after it dies in the higher transdimensional spirit realms.
Tree of Life diagram for an animal deva right before it incarnates as an animal or human without conscience. Notice the similarity in the structure to the human/angel pair.  All spirits have similar processes at work even those whose exacting diagrams I did not list in this treatise.
Plants and plant spirits have similar diagrams which are added below.  Plants (and also multicellular Fungi) correspond to plant devas and to lower fairy spirits in the higher dimensional planes.  Each part of the various nature kingdoms in my understanding is filled with ancient and primordial spirits that govern in it in the same way Archangels are the essential governing agents of human evolution.  These ancient and primordial spirit beings are the ones who guide shaman in their understanding through the communication of the spirit realms.  In my Archon classification scheme these advanced beings are the Planetary Archon classified 37-40 and the Solar Archons (and above) which incarnate periodically as plant and animal ArchDevas which are the equivalent to Archangels.  
The way I understood this is that each animal or planet species is governed by at least a couple of ArchDevas.  Similarly larger groupings of the lower kingdoms of life as Biology understands them are also overseen similarly by such beings though there is much less activity at these lower levels. In metaphysical systemology the lowest being in the metaphysical spirit universe is the elemental.  Elementals correspond to chemistry and are the most simple beings possible.   They exist in incarnation as molecules up to cells at which point they enter what we would call the plant spirit kingdom once a true multicellular system is created.
Tree of Life diagram for a plant or any multicellular being without a nervous system
Tree of Life diagram for a plant deva also referred to as a lower fairy spirit.  This is the spirit of the plant long before it is born or after it dies.
We see the nature of the plant and the plant spirit realm from these diagrams when observing individual evolving plant spirits and their time in the afterlife.  What does a plant do in the afterlife?  I believe plants spend their afterlife in something I call fractal fields which is something some people who have experienced hallucinogenic effects of plant medicines describe vividly.  I'm not sure the exact nature of these fractal fields but they probably exist in that plane of reality as part of a complex spiritual dynamic of simplified evolutionary paths that are paths of being for these plant souls.  
You will notice that the bottom Sephiroth malkuth for the plant is something I have called the Atomic Spirit.  The atomic spirit is of course the spirit of an atom and plants and fungi directly deal with the atomic realm as they move around individual atoms into place in their bodies from the ground to wherever it goes.  There's one more level down to go to get below the deva level of consciousness to the true elemental level.  Elementals deal with the everything from the molecular level up to the level of a single celled organism such as a bacteria or basic protozoa.
Tree of Life diagram for a molecule, cellular organelle, or single cell
The most basic spirit known is the spirit of light.  This is the Photon Spirit.  But the most basic being known is the elemental which in nature is the molecule.  Once a molecular assemblage can self replicate, it is a cell and this is where the spirit of being truly begins.  Before this point in consciousness being exists as a fragmentation of being which is the way nearly all elementals live.  The elemental world is the root of all worlds in consciousness.  It moves between waking and sleeping states of being until the cell evolves.
Tree of Life diagram for an Elemental, the basic primal being of the cosmos
Questions about being below the level of the molecule, or the life of the atom and the subatomic universe must be considered here for balance.  The argument is that these fields exist as non-being but still are alive but are pre-conscious.  They do not have an individual consciousness but are real and self-existing as aspects of spirit itself.  This is probably a very complex thought beyond what I wish to think about myself right now.  But essentially all things are alive, but the smallest things are not conscious at all, but rather they are the non-conscious parts of consciousness in the purest sense of that expression of thought.  That which exists as non-being still exists, it is only a matter of time before it awakens.
Now we have finished the overview of the lower half of this Kabbalistic Metaphysics introduction.  This is only the fundamental framework for spiritual scientists.  The true understanding comes from actually seeing how it goes together as specialists in the various fields of study that we entertain as scientists or mystics.  There is much more that is not written than is written for now.
But we are not at the end of this discussion.  Now we should take a look up above the human spiritual level and back to the level of the divine, the Archangels, and The Archons to complete our systemology to the extent that is comfortable.  I will begin by connecting the dots from the different levels of what I have discussed in my other essays listed on this website.
An angel corresponds to a Sentient Archon in its Celestial Archon phase as opposed to its Terrestial Archon phase when it incarnates as a non-sentinent of some form or another.  An Archangel corresponds to a Planetary Archon.  A Divine Archangel corresponds to a Solar Archon.  These are our fundemental levels looking upwards from current standard human consciousness.

From metaphysics we understand that the human level of consciousness is generally trending towards the angelic with the Angelic Mind and Self being the dominant fields of consciousness.  Above this level the Archangelic exists through the SemiDivine Mind and Self and the SemiDivine Spirit.  Even above this the Divine Archangelic, dealing with the God/Goddess directly, is known as the Divine Mind and Self and the Divine Spirit.  This relates to the Sun and the center of the Solar System as the core of divinity in understanding as a basic function of the natural relationships of the cosmos.

Angel - Angelic Spirit - Celestial Archon
Archangel - SemiDivine Spirit - Planetary Archon
Solar or Divine Archangel - Divine Spirit - Solar Archon

Now we can go further just to name what is else is above just as I have in my other essays.  

Galactic Archangel - Galactic Divine Spirit - Galactic Archon
Metagalactic Archangel - Metagalactic Divine Spirit - Metagalactic Archon
Cosmic Archangel - Cosmic Divine Spirit - Cosmic Domain Archon

And of course I have Trees of Life drawing out these relationships as well so they are easy to see. 
Tree of Life diagram for an Archangel or a Planetary Archon when not incarnated and not preparing for incarnation.  These two beings have similar responsibility levels in the Cosmos and share similar forms in this regard.
These diagrams bring up the question of what the nature is of the Semidivine and Divine realms of creation.  Yet these are very complex subjects that cannot easily be explained at our current levels of development as souls.  The Archangelic directly deals with questions of a SemiDivine nature which are mostly about the ordering of worlds internally including landmasses and large water bodies and management of the systems of consciousness of the three types of sentient incarnated beings sub-sentients, semi-sentients, and full sentients.  The Terrestial Archons on the other hand focus solely on the building of those worlds and the management of their realms built upon those worlds in higher dimensional planes as described in my metaphysical cosmology essay.  
The primary divine realm deals with the ordering of the worlds in relation to each other and the management of the solar system itself but goes further to the management of everything up to a galaxy of a trillion stars.  It is in every way divine and mastery of this divinity is the subject of the what we would call the gods and goddesses of higher creation from our point of view.  The Divine Mind is in most ways the mind of the star itself as it grows towards becoming a galaxy.  As such Divine Archangels are above normal Archangels just as Solar Archons who build stars through the fields of consciousness of the cosmos are greater than Planetary Archons who build planets.  My metaphysical cosmology essay describes a little of this from the Archon and God/Goddess point of view though I've really only presented a bare bones presentation there as food for thought.
Obviously higher orders of divinity exist and beyond the galactic realm is the concept of the Metagalactic realm and beyond that the Cosmic Domain.  Yet this is far enough for our purposes.  It is enough to say that there are infinite levels of creation and there is an infinite journey ahead for each of us into it.
Tree of Life diagram for an incarnated Sun or Star

This last diagram shows the general configuration of an incarnated Star.  It is important to note the terms I have used in the diagram as they apply quite extensively to an understanding of ancient Egyptian spiritual practices and apply to the lower human level as well.  The name of the ancient Egyptian Gods and Goddesses was used during their mystery rites as described by John Gordon's Egypt Child of Atlantis book (though just for the record I have stated frequently I don't believe in the Atlantis myth except possibly as a cosmic memory fragment of something far removed from this Earth history of the last 5 billion years +).  
Each of these ancient God/Goddesses was used in the mysteries corresponding to the human level in such a way that demonstrated that Ra was the highest god as the Sun and Higher Spirit, Osiris the Higher Mind, Isis the Higher Self/Ego, Horus the Lesser Spirit/Child of God, Nephtys the Lower Self/Ego, and Set the Lower Mind.  
When applied to the level of a star I thought it wise to use the god and goddess names directly as the aspects as it gives an idea of the divine nature of such a being as a Sun compared to the human level.  We would in fact expect such a power as a great lesser god or goddess to represent these powers as expressed through the massive solar body of the Sun.  It would be fitting of a divine being.  As a complete expression we should remember that all these lesser states of consciousness and lesser gods and goddesses serve under the One True God and Goddess of Light who are unnamed and as such must be remembered to be less in scale than the true power of the One who is the infinite source of all.  
I have not provided all the diagrams I have, but have provided enough for those who have understood the ideas presented here and in all my other essays to fill in the gaps.  You can draw in the rest of the Tree of Life diagrams for yourself if you have understood the principles I have written of in my essays.  Blessed be and hallelujah.