Normal and Your Children

Normal.  Its an odd looking word isn't it?  Seems innocuous on the surface.  So benign and non-threatening.  What everyone wants to be inside just like everyone else.  Right?  Except it's a lie, of course.  No one really wants to be like everyone else.  That's why we have heroes in life.  People we want to grow up to be like.  You know what's different about heroes?  They most definitely aren't normal.  Who really wants to be normal?

Which is what makes the whole normality movement the strangest thing I have ever encountered.  Why are parents trying to make their children normal?  Well that's just plain stupid!  If anyone ever actually had a real discussion about what "normal" means it would go right straight to the realization that what's normal for some is perfectly odd to others.  So why the obsession with normality among so many parents?

It's a form of control which can't be missed.  Why would anyone want to worship at the alter of normality?  Does normal mean right?  Does normal mean good?  Does normal really mean anything at all?  There are many, many words that are pure garbage.  Normal is one of them.  Using the word means you have no idea what the word means.  You can't, because how can anyone define normal for anyone else?  How can they really define normal for themselves?

Then there is the kissing cousin to normal, safe.  The other thing every parent wants their children to be.  Safe makes sense, but its a loaded word full of loaded meaning.  Loving your children does mean keeping them safe.  But safe from danger, not from growing.  That is the one thing you can't keep your children from experiencing.  Growth.  Growth is going to happen whether you like it or not, and it most certainly is going to happen outside that arbitrary box we call normal.

Safety is something I believe in.  Good parenting requires good instruction.  Those that listen become wiser.  Listening to your children is wiser than ignoring them like so many do out there.  Communication is the heart of the family.  If its missing then something is missing.  Your family is the center of your life.  When family isn't talking, something is wrong.  Family should always be talking and be in communication with each other.  That is the cornerstone of all our problems in the world.

You must talk to your children, not at them.  Normal is talking at your children.  Normal is control that isn't right.  Normal is shaming your children into conformity.  Normal is abusing your power as a parent.  Never use the term normal with human beings.  It is unwise.  It is also unwell.