Towards Meaning

As we confront our insecurities and doubts we realize the importance of making space for what we find meaningful to ourselves in our journey.  Stripping away our insecurities slowly through our releasing of our dark has become the new ritual.  Feeling our own terror and fear we grow towards new possibility.  As we survive each new layer of revelation about our nature, something begins to change.  At first it is personal, just about you.  But soon you are joined by others, others who have seen the way.

The path is fraught with suffering.  The nature of our current human experience makes this a temporarily necessity.  There is no way out of experiencing some empowerment through facing our greatest injustices against ourselves.  These injustices have largely been internalized.  A false sense of being hardened into our very bodies showing us the potential of our unconquered spirit.  Survival reveals that we are capable of establishing ourselves again, that we are capable of rising up and embracing our power.  Each day we count our blessings that we have survived.  In this we learn gratitidue.

Meaninglessness confronts us with our desperation.  We need to change.  It is in our hearts.  With every beat we move closer to liberty from our condition.  With every breath we move our soul that much closer to being free.  And yet more is required.  A need to find meaning.

A journey is required.  A journey into darkness, where all things are made to stand still, where the mind and all its machinery is made to pause.  Why?  Perhaps deep within our soul has the answer but we have become too routine and mechanical to hear it clearly.  Yet, with each breath the revelation moves closer to being fully heard and felt.  It is something that we can commit to on our path.  It is something that is possible.

With this requires a leap into the unknown, the great terror from which many turn back at first.  It is no longer our luxury to run away from what is there.  It is no longer an option if we wish to survive.  So then, the die is cast, and our fate is sealed.  We must journey within and without to a place none of us has been before.  We could call this place hope, but perhaps it is simply home, the place where we live.  Housed in our flesh, lighted by a power within, we face our greatest fears.  It is here somehow that we will find our redemption.  It is here somehow that we are going to find victory, a triumph over our weakness and our hardness.  Or perhaps, accepting our weakness and hardness for what they are, find a way to use them to make life more bearable for ourselves and those we love.  A human solution for human problem.

We act deliberately now to find knowledge.  It is a necessity.  The quest for knowledge has never been more important than now, as our world dances on the razor's edge of doom.  What we need is answers.  Ones that are complete.  Ones in which we find meaning through survival and through success.  Survival and success blend together increasingly.  Just living in somehow an act of triumph.  And creating by whatever means is a celebration of our still beating hearts and still moving breath which must be interpreted as a sure sign that we are moving that much closer to the meaning we have all been searching for.  When we get there, I am sure there will be others, and so the journey and the tour of our condition as humans will be a small measure more complete through our communion.  And surely communion is something we are all yearning for after all this time alone.  We move forward then towards meaning, an experience of fulfilled expectations and much more than we can even imagine.

Conscious Conception

When we create, we make a choice.  In that process that leads to the moment of creation, which we call conception, our intention and focus are what partially determines the nature of what it is that is about to be created.  For everything that we create in this world, there is a corresponding sacrifice that is made to make that creation possible.  So then creation is an act of personal love where one sacrifices something one treasures in order to create something one loves.

Such is the nature of conception.  Yet in the process of creating we often forget to take into account the side effects of what will happen after we create what it is that we are creating.  Those side effects can be positive or negative to the degree we are conscious of our decision.  Yet having that sort of power inevitably leads to more demands for a more complete level of awareness to manage the ever expanding consequences of our decisions, and of course, their outcomes.  Hence the need for what is derisively shot down continually, which is ego.

The creative act involves being present in the moment to such a degree that one must commit to it fully in order to get anything out of it.  This means that what one treasures in terms of time must be given first and foremost to create a disciplined product, the focused measure of one's labor.  In addition to time, energy, and will, creation in this world requires motivation and determination without which the process will be dropped by anyone who doesn't like the experience of dealing with phyiscal resistance.  Yet everything we do in this world is bought at the price of having to experience the overcoming of physical resistance through the application of willpower and command of the will. 

What then is worth so much and is so precious that could demand this full and complete sacrifice of our precious selves?  Love of some thing, person, place, or idea is certainly partially an answer.  Yet beyond this is something even more magical and inexplicable.  A divine demand within our very soul that asks to be fulfilled.  A need to be more than what we are in this moment.  A need to grow into a more complete and fullfilling role by offering Love as a choice to others.  This sort of odd situation rarely comes up except in strange and often unfulling rituals such as what we currently call "romance" where the free loving spirit is often crushed under the burden of ritualized modes of relating and imposed expectations.  While the quest for Love itself leads to the conception of an unconscious mode of relating to Love through the objects of the quest, the true quest for Love only happens when we step out of the program of unconscious conception and accept our responibility as conscious creators.  This moves us from the mundane level of doing what is expected of us and expecting something or nothing in return according to our daily mood and into a space where our very being is fired up and ready to explode with pure genius. 

The nature of such an experience is divine because it is an internal relating to ourselves as a creator, a god of our own making.  This is more than just the weak willed "channeling" of the divine practiced by so called psychics.  This is a living, breathing godhood where you walk with yourself, being your own shepard, beleiving in you and your divine birthright.  It is not an easy path because of the world and its expectations.  The world doesn't beleive in your right to be free (right now at any rate) because people have a hard time relating to the true spirit of creation within themselves.  They shut down their divine nature because of the programming and then they blame those who acheive conscious creation within themselves out of fear that they will lose control to them.  Yet, this is what happens time and time again throughout history.  The conscious conception overpowers the unconscious conception because of the choice of the believer, the one that chooses.  All great ideas are first ridiculed, violently opposed, and then accepted as the gospel.  The path of the world's hypocrites remains that same as it always has been.  They will pretend to believe anything in order to gain something outside of themselves that validates their lack of inner worth.

Our societies have lost the power of conscious conception because they no longer believe in their own vision.  The west has lost its way completely in the dark.  There is no cause today for which people have any real great belief in.  Everything has become a means to an end, and that end has become an increasingly greedy and bad one for everyone.  It short, we are on the dead end path to nowhere. 

Yet, there exists a silver lining in all of this.  We still have the power to choose Love by enpowering ourselves enough to challenge this dead end outcome.  We still have time to breathe and make things right.  There is still time to heal yourself and your world.  In order to do this you must first believe in yourself enough to know that you have the power to change and make the world a better place.  This is essentially the only choice available other than to breathe and be a passive observer.  Everything else is not really a choice but an unconscious surrender of your authority to be complete in yourself to someone or something else outside of you.  And that is a insult to your divine heritage, and it cannot stand.  The alternative to being divine is to reject your divine nature and resume the pointless road back to the programmed life you have been lead to believe is actually yours by someone else who wants you to live under their rules and their control for their convienence.  Is that really what you want?  Somehow, I doubt it.  So then, you have the power to choose your fate up to the degree that you understand yourself and in doing so walking away from the illusion of life as it is sold to you to pursue life as someone who believes in their ability to consciously conceive an alternative.  That, dear reader, is the nature of the power within.  You can call it divine power if you'd like.  But it is found at the center of our very nature as beings, deep within your mind, heart, and soul is a real human being waiting to be born.  And all of creation works for the moment of the emergence of this conscious creator within, the real God, with all the splendor and awesomeness that makes the journey through your lies worth the trip. 

It is once again time for us to make a choice.  Are we going to surrender to self destruction or to our loving nature?  The choice seems obvious.  In fact, there really isn't any choice.  Everything in the universe points to the obvious and only your fears, doubts, and insecurities prevent you from seeing and beleiving in it.  You are the one, and it is time to rise.  Become the phoenix and doubt your true nature never again.

Love Poem for Fear

It is all I can say in the face of death and in the face of fear.
Fear, our worst enemy, which has taught us that life is still possible.
Even with everything we can't understand.
Even when so much has seemingly been torn away from us.

Even having conquered death, fear becomes our stalker.
It eats at our being, stealing our resolve.
It eats at our resolve, stealing our courage.
It eats at our courage, stealing our will.

And yet we face fear daily anyway.
With eyes of steel we face it.
It never goes away except when you face it.
And then somehow it vanishes only to appear somewhere else the next day.

It is a very mysterious experience
That fear has so strong a grasp
Yet so weak a presence
That it is here for such a short time.

What sort of divine trick is fear?
While it is here it is all consuming.
But it disappears quite completely
When we focus on it strongly.

Does this heart live on fear?
Is it made of fear?
Does fear make it's home in my heart?
Maybe it likes it there where it is warm and cozy.

Or is fear in the mind?
Stalking the corner of my doubt
The uncertain twin of my suspicion
The questionable ancestor of hatred?

Do I fear with my mind or my heart?
Does fear begin with weakness or with strength?
Where does it come from and where does it go?
And if it is gone, why does it come back time and time again?

Perhaps it is the nature of our world
Yet thoughts of Love can chase it away.
Thoughts of belonging do make it recede.
But then we are all full of fear awaiting the arrival of it.

And yet Love is said to conquer all in the end.
As certain as the Sun rises.
As certain as the Moon rises.
Where Love is real, fear cannot exist.